Innocence of a Woman....

Things have changed forever more.
Time has stood still.
No longer am I the little girl that I used to be.
The memories will remain close in my heart,
but the Innocence is gone forever.
Through time, marriage and children,
so much knowledge has been gained.
And yet so many questions still remain.
Will the answers ever unfold?
Attitude and thoughts are now conceived so differently.
Who are the real friends, and who are the real enemies?
Who and what are the real priorities?
Will you still lose yourself trying to do for everyone else?
I think not, the most valuable lesson you have learned,
Your soul needs nourishing too.
But which path you take to do so, only you can decide.
The impact may be great, but I shall stay strong.
I now carry myself in a different way.
Some say for good, others say for worse.
But as long as I know and remember my reflections of yesterday,
Then I am the one who will say.
Emotions are so high, and so low, and in between,
I run fast, and chase them all day.
Never really knowing which one will be caught.
At this point and time in my life,
I have certainly been put to the test,
But I can still try to do my very best.
There are still thoughts that I hold on to,
I still have my angels guiding me safely.
And I know that there will always be a rainbow after the storm,
And that tomorrow will be a different day,
beginning with a new sunrise.
And with each person that has true passion and unconditional love for me,
Will remain by my side to help catch me if I shall fall or call.
Through all the changes that have taken place,
I know I still have my saving Grace.
I shall be aware, and hopefully better prepared for the years ahead.
They also will bring more change.
Is that not what time is suppose to do?
But I shall survive even if the little girl has vanished,
I can still reflect back on my wonderful memories.
After all if it were not for her,
I could not be the woman I am today.
Even though her voice will always haunt me,
Now is the time, to say goodbye to the Innocence of my childhood,
And really concentrate and savor the Innocence of my womanhood.

Sherry

When Tomorrow Starts Without Me...

When tomorrow starts without me,
and I'm not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes,
all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry,
the way you did today,
while thinking of the many things,
we didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,
as much as I love you,
and each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
please try to understand,
that an Angel came and called my name,
and took me by the hand,
and said my place was ready,
in heaven far above,
and that I'd have to leave behind,
all those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,
a tear fell from my eye,
for all life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
so much yet to do,
it seemed almost impossible,
that I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays,
the good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
and all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
just even for awhile,
I'd say goodbye and kiss you
and maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,
that this could never be,
for emptiness and memories,
would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
my heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
from His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity,
and all I've promised you".

Today for life on earth is past,
but here it starts anew,
I promise no tomorrow,
but today will always last,
and since each day's the same day,
there's no longing for the past.

But you have been so faithful,
so trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things,
you knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven and
now at last you're free.
So won't you take my hand and
share my life with me?

So when tomorrow starts without me,
don't think we're far apart,
for every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart.

Sherry

Distant Love...

Did you ever say I love you
And the breeze took your words away
Did you feel them as they lingered
Then slowly drifted on their way

Did they journey long, searching for
The distant love you hoped they’d find
Was someone out there listening
For words from heart and mind

Did you ever hear I love you
As the wind blew through the trees
Closed your eyes and felt them there
As they came quietly in the breeze

Did you ever say I love you
And hear it whispered in return
Feeling your distant love beside you
And the desire within you burn

Did you ever see I love you
Floating quietly to you with ease
Wandering peacefully there beside you
Comes I love you in the breeze

Sherry

The Edge Of Dreaming.....

On the edge of dreaming
When the brain lets go
When it stops its scheming
And the blood runs slow

Then the heart speaks clearly
Of the things it knows
Things it bought so dearly
At the evening's close

Will the wine keep flowing
When the kissing stops?
Will the love keep growing
When the blossom drops?

In the clear light's dawning
On the edge of day
Dare we tell the morning
What the heart can't say?

Sherry

The Hero of my Dreams.....

You come to me in my time of need.
Comfort me and let me weep,
for a love that is lost.

It is with you, that I escape
the realities of my world.
To a place where . . .
thoughts are deep,
life has meaning,
and love is eternal.

I wake in a foggy daze and sometimes
I laugh at my foolishness.
Most times I cry wondering . . .
Why couldn't we have met at
another time or place?

Where dreams of a love that is pure
and true could have been
fulfilled.

So my hero . . .
I close my eyes to sleep,
hoping to dream, so that
I can be with you
once again . . .
Sherry

The Ultimate Dream....

Virginity is evident in my soul.
The pain from within is often unbearable,
And the need for the love of another human being is obvious,
But what lies beneath it all is amazing,
For I know what it is that I have to give,
And I am astonished at how rare it really is.

Every day I live with it,
Digging away at my shyness,
Digging away at my heart.
Part of me wishes it would stop,
that it would simply cease to exist.
Part of me wishes that the barrier would be shattered,
and that my love would be free to give itself to the person it chooses.
And part of me wishes that someone from the outside
Would break through the barrier
and claim my underlying love.

Twisted and torn,
Day in and day out.
It has chosen many lives that it would like to be a part of,
But no one has ever known of its existence,
Concealed within the depths of my soul.

Change is Inevitable,
So fighting it is useless.
Then again, why am I fighting,
In losing the fight I gain what I need so very much.

I can imagine the bond I could create
With the spirit of another human being,
Oh, how magnificent that would be,
With romance coursing through my veins,
Passion running out of my heart and into hers,
And love circulating between us.
Oh, what a dream that would be.

In time this ultimate dream of mine shall become true,
And my life will become intertwined with another.
But for now I must wait for the love I hold inside
To break free from it's shackles
And roam free to brighten the life of another.

Sherry

I Whisper..

I whisper to the leaves, confessions . . .
of admiration for the soul . . .
the spirits free, overwhelming me,
confusing all of which I know . . .
I whisper to the leaves of beauty
Observe the inner depths . . .
invade my mind . . .
and what you'll find . . .
is passion that must be kept . . .
I whisper to the leaves discoveries . . .
of thoughts too brazen to share . . .
although in silence, I seldom speak . . .
please trust me that I care.
I whisper to the leaves, goodbye . . .
with a prayer that the soul stays true . . .
with the world behind,the heart stays kind . . .
and the temptations of sins are long through.

Sherry

Through My Eyes...

So often I wonder what your
eyes are seeing,
what your heart is feeling.
Do your eyes see before you
a beautiful creation,
so dream-like, yet so real?
Do you see before you
a face so fragile that your hand
trembles as you reach to caress it?
Does your heart soar
with the eagles in a sky
dazzling with the beauty
of a thousand rainbows?
Does your spirit
dance with the angels
during a tender kiss?
Does your soul rest in the
knowledge of Love's infinity?
Does your mind wonder
at the greatness, the mercy,
the grace of that love?

Sherry

Seek Not My Heart...

Oh gentle winds 'neath moonlit skies,
Do not you hear my heartfelt cries?

Below the branches, hear about,
Do not you sense my fear and doubt?
Side glistening rivers, sparkling streams,
Do not you hear my woeful screams?

Upon the meadows, touched with dew,
Do not you see my hearts a'skew?
Beneath the thousand twinkling stars,
Do not you feel my jagged scars?

Seek not my mournful heart kind breeze,
For you'll not find it 'mongst these trees.

It's scattered 'cross the moonlit skies,
Accompanied by heartfelt sighs.
It's drifting o're the gentle rain,
A symbol of my silent pain.

It's buried 'neath the meadow fair,
Conjoined with all the sorrow there.
It's lost among the stars this night,
Too far to ease my quiet fright.

No gentle winds, seek not my heart,
For simply... it has torn apart.

Sherry

The Man I Do Not Know...

Maybe I've met you, but I can't recall.
I waited for you to come into my life,
but my heart is telling me
that you've already passed through.
I may have looked into your eyes,
whatever color that may be.
Blue as the sky on a bright summer day,
or perhaps the day is cloudy and your eyes really grey.
Or they might be green, the color of grass
with a ray of sunlight adding that shine from above.
but certainly the color of love.
I wonder if we've spoken to one another.
Words falling from our tongues,
rich and delicious and as sweet as the first kiss we've yet to share.
I can hear your voice, but strangely enough,
there are no words there.
I can picture your movements,
gracefully taking one stride at a time,
but I need to know, in which direction are you going?
No hurry, take your time.
I've waited for you all my life,
the day will come when you will be mine.
How does it sound when you speak my name?
I can hear it so plainly,
but is your voice deep and rasp or are there any words at all?
Could it be that you're silent when it comes to love?
As silent as the leaves that fall in the fall?
When it's raining on my rooftop,
is it also raining on yours?
Tears from heaven because we have yet to be as one.
At least until the union is done?
Do you write as I do about our love unrealized?
Or might you paint a picture of me,
with no features except your name etched into my heart,
whatever that name may be?
Or might your sing your song or simply daydream?
Do you daydream about me?
How will it feel to hold you in my arms?
I can feel your skin so soft, but the color I do not know.
Dark as the shadow that watches over me every day
until I find you or fair like a peach?
Whatever color, hue, tint, to tone,
I vow to love you eternally and that vow I will not breech.
I haven't a clue where you are,
but I know where you have been.
You have passed through my dreams every night and continue to do so.
I know not your given name, but fret not,
In due time that name will be mine also,
that and only that I do know.
In the meantime, I names to which I refer,
and these names suit you perfectly fine.
I either call you by the name "Love"
or I simply call you "Mine".
Our union will be eternal,
once I find you or you me,
we shall never again part.
I have a gift to present you with
and that gift is my very own heart.
Please find me love. I've kept my diligent search alive.
The thought of you is sacred and precious,
you're the reason I continue to strive.
I am anxious, maybe a bit over so.
There are some for whom I've tried to fall.
But life's lessons have taught me well . . .
I haven't known a true kind of love at all.
I know I must be patient,
once we're together there will be no end.
But I need to find you once and for all,
it is you on I and I on you,
that we will always depend.
But for now, there's only one thing on which I can depend.
The one thing in my life that I can always turn to.
I turn to the prospect of love everlasting,
and that everlasting love, is you.

Sherry

I Am...

I Am...
A woman,
With a full heart, hidden
Somewhere in an empty room...
With eyes not quite of autumn's gold, and yet
Neither all of summer's green;
I wonder...
If love is a tale made for children --
A granting of sweet dreams in their innocence --
A honey--coating to help their throats
Choke down the bitter draught...
I hear...
A voice that whispers warnings, half-formed,
Bodiless as hope, until I swear I cannot draw
Another breath unless this spectre be unmasked,
His lies mangled 'neath my righteous tread;
I see...
A woman, proud, uncompromising,
Diaphanous as air -- less, even, than the tears
That fall in desolation about her weary feet,
Salt poison pooled upon the withered ground...
I want...
A measure of quietude, a certain silence,
The echo of alone which heals me of dreaming,
The nothing that stills the wanting,
The numb, the cold that laughs at pain;
I am
A woman,
hidden...
I pretend...
That I can live forever -- that Time
Has no puissance but that which I afford Him --
And so, I can wait, I can be happy tomorrow,
Sleep is for the dead, but its ghosts haunt my waking...
I feel..
Too much -- too deeply to be directionless,
Too real for imagining, and yet the familiar eyes
Hold nothing of recognition -- only my reflection --
A meeting of shadows in sunlit glass;
I touch...
The downy wings of hope, in wonder,
In reverence, in need, in hunger;
Alas, it burns my fingers as a flame,
A sacrilege, self-defined...
I worry...
That I am alone; that in my longing
I have forsaken all -- but oh, what reward,
What smile divine should light the path to freedom --
And how can I but heed the siren's call?
I cry...
For having too much, for fear of bursting,
And then, when by the pouring of my soul
I lie, a vessel emptied, I cry again
For what was had, and lost;
I am
A woman,
Empty...
I understand
That life is what you make it,
That sometimes, the coat of many colors
That marks your triumphs brightly, blends only
To loneliness of grey...
I say...
That we are made by life, shaped,
Broken, perhaps -- unmade and voided --
But always, the core of us remains, waiting
With only faith, with trust, to be reborn;
I dream...
Of bluest waters, reaching
With unnatural hands towards the faded sky,
Of dolphins that wander in seas without limits,
Carrying me water-breathing past corals and clouds...
I try...
To lead by example, knowing
That merely the telling holds no power;
A gift of giving is merely a day, while
A gift of knowing spans forever;
I hope...
That my darkness holds you gently,
That pain is halved by sharing, that feeling
Wields nothing past the words it summons,
Except that it touch you with only healing..
I am
A woman,
only.

Beneath Those Deep Blue Eyes...

Beneath those deep blue eyes
She tried so hard to disguise
Traces of emptiness and loneliness
From the pain and anguish she possessed.
Frustrations from before still haunt her
Screaming in silence, her body began to falter,

She dwells in misery, feeling like a failure
From all the pain that she can not measure
Losing her strength, she trembles with fright..
Too tired to feel, too tired to fight.
The truth hurts a little too much
And the pain is something she refused to touch.

Yet it wouldn't go away, it wouldn't let her be;
The proof is in those blue eyes, you see
The pain weakens her, she began to fall,
Picking up the pieces she built her wall.
Thinking it would protect her from the pain,
And the only way for her to stay sane.

She ran away from the painful reality,
Only with enough hope it would set her free,
But was she wrong! The pain's still there
Lingering around like air.
Beneath those deep blue eyes are withheld tears,
Waiting to stream down for years.

Slowly opening her heart, she began to cry,
Silent tears that never seem to dry
All this time, it was herself that she had fought
"God it hurts" she often thought.
The pain lingers, ever so strong
The inner peace, oh how she longs!

Beneath those sad blue eyes,
Is an ocean of endless cries
is she heard, was she answered?
No.. for questions still bothered.
She went through so much but never learned,
Now, she's losing everything that she ever earned.

It hurts to face the truth and live with lies
all this time, she tried to hide the pain,
a little too late before she realized.
that it showed beneath those deep blue eyes.

Sherry